Research, research, research

I am sitting at Martha Miller with my friend Michelle and eight chunky books (all friends as well, of course). We are progressing rapidly on that huge obligation we call homework. Michelle is listening to her ipod as she types. I sip my coffee. In the middle of the rotunda is a gigantic Christmas tree, glimmering dimly even in the daylight, covered in red bows. It is peaceful here.

The next task on my life agenda is to start my research paper for American literature. I've spent the morning researching; how I wish I could just keep researching forever and never start writing. I think the transition between interpreting another's work and outputting your own is one of the hardest. Even now I don't feel like I've internalized these eight friendly books enough to write 8-10 pages; however, necessity compels me to write (in the form of my beautiful family, coming to visit me tomorrow and staying all weekend, and four Vespers performances that will consume my weekend!)

My paper is about Calvinism and American Literature. I chose this topic because Professor Pannapacker mentioned in class that Nathaniel Hawthorne was a Calvinist. Funny, says I, I would like to hear Trygve's take on this. Because Hawthorne is the grumpiest Calvinist I've ever read, if he is one. Going to school at Hope, which is in the Reformed tradition, I guess maybe my views of Calvinism are more modern, more limited to what I've learned in class and experienced in chapel. It's funny to me that America chose "The Scarlet Letter" and then "Moby-Dick", two of the most depressing books out there, for the literary canon. Hawthorne was a wishy-washy Calvinist. Melville, inspired by Hawthorne's genius and desirous of imitating his seemingly easy balance between man's simultaneous innate depravity and inherent rights, wrote with Calvinistic themes - predestination, sin and damnation, orthodoxy, Biblical authority. But he was not a Calvinist. I think both books illustrate the heart of the struggle between liberal thought and orthodox Christianity in the context of their day, and really, in ours too. And really, who hasn't struggled with the idea that we are "saved by grace"; that nothing we do can earn our salvation - yet we are supposed to "work out (our) salvation with fear and trembling?"

Melville and Hawthorne emit the scent of reformed thought, but they are not optimistic enough to be truly reformed. They never find the joy of God's grace. There are hints of hope, however; Hester Prynne accepts her lot and repents of her sin, and she looks forward to a day when the world will be brighter. Ishmael is the lone survivor of the wreck of the Pequod, saved by the coffin his friend Queequeg made.

Ugh, so much to think about. On to writing!